I feel sick in the head - really sick in the head. Three days till Luke comes, including today. I wish it didn’t arrive so quickly. Mum and dad still want him; even though they recently found out he was mute. Mute is when you can’t talk, by the way. It used to be dumb, but now it’s mute, since dumb means a stupid idiot now. I am blinking back tears, and everything is blurred. I’m listening to Britney Spears right now, so I can laugh at her and not get angry at Jason. But all I can do is think about him. It feels as if I’m holding a remote, and my thumb is glued to the rewind button, but I don’t want to see what’s happened. It keeps on coming back. I can vaguely remember every single word Jason said: “You’ve gotten what you wanted”, he’d said. “You wanted a brother. Now it’s time for me to go”. And then me, just standing there, not doing a single thing. I’m relieved when mum calls “dinner!” I pray she does that ‘I want Hannah to be happy so I’ll make her favourite stuff’. As I plod downstairs, I realize she hasn’t. Lasagne! I loathe lasagne. It’s so cheesy and disgusting! I fall into the chair. I don’t feel like living anymore.
What’s to look forward to in life? Last night was probably the worst I’ve in my last fifteen years of living. The lasagne for one, and secondly, The News. I’ll explain it once now, but from then on I’ll just stick with The News. Luke is going to be sleeping in the spare room. Now you may think this isn’t huge news, but it is. You see, the spare room is right next to mine! Well, for the first week or two he’ll be sleeping with mum and dad, since we haven’t completely got the room set up, but after that, it’ll be torture. I won’t go into details, or I might die right here and now, but you get the problem. I don’t feel comfortable with Luke, looking at all the stuff his biological dad did to him. It makes me feel like spewing. I roll around and check the time. Half past three - in the morning. I haven’t gotten any sleep since all I’ve been thinking about is The News. I can totally wait. Life totally sucks. I totally like saying totally, since it totally makes me feel like a total idiot. I am so scared and nervous, of what I’m not sure, and I just sit here, hoping daytime doesn’t come.
My prayers aren’t answered, and daytime arrives faster. So here I am, in my room, hoping everyone forgets I exist. Actually it’d be great if I arrived in the hospital soon, so then we won’t have to pick up Luke tomorrow. Well, we’d probably postpone it anyway, but who knows? Maybe I can mysteriously faint then. I check the time: 10:59 am. Whatever the time, I collapse onto the bed and sleep.
I slept till 1:00, and I didn’t even realize I was so tired. My parents apparently did try to wake me up for lunch, but I, being the devil I am, kicked them. So I’m eating lunch at 2:00. As I put my plate in the sink, the doorbell rings. I look through the hole. It’s Jacinta, my next door neighbour.
“Hey Hannah!” she says and hugs me. I’m a bit taken aback.
“Hi…” I say shyly.
“Well, I just came to give you this”, she says. I know what to expect. The postman always gives our letters to Jacinta’s house instead of hours. As she hands me a baby blue envelope, my heart skips a million beats. Hannah, it says. An invitation! I smile politely at Jacinta.
“Thanks!” I mean it. It’s been ages since I’ve been invited to a party.
“Well, seeya!” she says, and with that, she leaves.
Mum and dad are happy about the invitation too. For a moment, I actually forget all about Luke, but then reality hits me.
